Breakups and laughter typically go together as well as a comedian in a courtroom or beef in a trifle. That said, sitcoms can also find ways of turning heartbreak into hilarity, proving that sometimes all you need in the throes of a breakup is to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
We’ve picked out five of telly’s silliest breakups to help you do just that.
The Post-It parting – Sex and the City
A measly Post-it note from Jack Berger to Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City’s sixth season. Funny, right? A comically pathetic way to end a relationship.
“I’m sorry
I can’t
Don’t hate me.”
That’s it. That’s the whole breakup.
But it’s Samantha who steals the scene with her iconic response to Carrie’s romantic woes: “The motherfucker’s concise.” Impeccable delivery. She is clearly fed up with Carrie’s incessant whining and you can’t really blame her.
“WE WERE ON A BREAK” – Friends
Love or loathe Ross Geller. Call him an entitled, controlling, psychotic man–child for all I care (FINE BY ME!), but you cannot help but admire David Schwimmer’s flawless delivery of this iconic line.
Ross and Rachel are one of the most famous will-they-won’t-they relationships in TV history. By all rights, this moment in the first episode of season 4, which comes immediately after the couple get back together, should have been devastating. Instead, a combination of chaotic writing and splendidly slapstick acting made it one of the most uproariously funny and oft-quoted sitcom moments ever.
“I’m not F-able??” – How I Met Your Mother
Ted Mosby (the Ross of HIMYM) manages to break up with Belle and Sebastian fan Natalie in season 1, episode 4 in the worst possible way – on her birthday. Just as he did exactly three years earlier.
His reason? Well, there isn’t really one. Expect that “It’s ineffable.”
“I’m not F-able??” Natalie retorts with utter incredulity.
To Ted’s misfortune, Natalie is proficient in the brutal martial art Krav Maga, which she immediately puts to excellent use to beat the shit out of him in the middle of a restaurant.
You can’t really say he didn’t deserve it – Ted’s annoying.
Mark dumps his own sister – Peep Show
Jeremy’s breakup with Mark’s sister Sarah (Season 3, episode 4) showcases the El Dude Brothers’ social ineptitude in excruciatingly hilarious fashion. Jez, ever the coward, flees entirely to avoid the dreaded breakup chat, leaving Mark to do his dirty work.
Predictably, it all goes about as well as an orgy in a monastery. Struggling for tact, he spirals into a brutal character assassination: “If you could stop the talking for just one minute, then maybe Jeremy and Simon (Sarah’s ex-husband) wouldn’t keep on dumping you.” Ouch.
Sarah promptly leaves and Mark reflects: “Ok so I’ve dumped my sister. I’m intrigued to see what I’m gonna do next. Maybe I’ll ring up Grandad and tell him I think he’s a boring twat.” And honestly, you wouldn’t put it past him.
The Fortune-Telling Cactus – New Girl
Nick Miller’s breakup with lawyer Julia in New Girl’s first season revolves around, of all things, a cactus. “I’m not an idiot, she’s going to break up with me,” he insists upon receiving the plant as a gift from Julia.
“Who told you that? Did the cactus tell you that? Is this one of those fortune-telling cactuses?” Winston quips.
Ultimately, it may very well have been. The cactus causes Nick to spiral, over analysing the meaning of the prickly plant, and leaving a series of increasingly deranged voicemails for Julia. “So I was right about the cactus,” Nick sulks, bringing the bizarre saga full circle.